Lately, I’ve been comparing being adopted to being kidnapped.  I read a book, “The Real Lolita, The Kidnapping of Sally Horner and the Novel That Scandalized the World”.  It was a good book.

The girl who was kidnapped was abused by the kidnapper, and I was not abused by my adoptive parents, but the same sense of being taken against my will has been with me all of my life.  I have always felt like I was not where I was supposed to be.

I was the 6th generation born in my little corner of NYC, but I have no ties to the place where my ancestors lived.  Their bones are buried there, but I’m a stranger to that place.

Like the young girl in the book, I had to comply with my kidnappers , in order to survive.  Unlike Sally, my family was not looking for me. There was no joyful reunion, when I finally was reunited with them.  Their lives were fine without me in them.

I am the only one who felt I was kidnapped.  The rest of the world thinks everything is fine.


2 thoughts on “Kidnapped?”

  1. Hi Marylee. Growing up not knowing I was adopted, I never felt like I’d been kidnapped. I just knew something was different about my family and for some reason I felt like I didn’t fit in. I can relate to your feeling of disconnection from the area where your bio ancestors lived. Recently I went to southern Indiana where my bio mom and her family and our ancestors lived. I felt like I was in another world.

  2. Thank you for your comment. I can only imagine the betrayal you felt when you found out you were adopted. I can also imagine that finally, the puzzle pieces fit, for you.

    When I found my mother, she told me she was black. My parents lied to the agency about that, so I would have a better chance of being adopted, back in 1962. When she told me that, many things in my life made sense. I had always told my adoptive mother that my skin was “green” and she always told me I was nuts!

    I don’t envy the fact you were not told that you were adopted, but I do envy the innocence that you had. I knew, from before I could speak, or understand that mothers could give their children away. I never had a moment without that painful knowledge.

    I don’t know if it’s better to tell kids very early, like how I was told, or later when they can understand more.

    Personally, I don’t think adoption is right for kids. I think, if parents cannot or will not care for their children, there should be guardians. I don’t see the good in changing a person’s identity, in order for them to receive loving care.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s