adoptee, adoption, anger, birthmother, family, father, pain, rejection, reunion, Uncategorized

Five years in



I found my family 5 years ago.  I hired a searcher,and called my mother on Dec 12, 2010.

My father’s family treated me to a big luncheon in April of 2011.  I thought everything was great, and that I would be part of the family, but a few weeks later I got my first taste of betrayal.

My Aunt C, my father’s brother’s wife innocently wrote my mother a letter, and asked if Mom was invited to Auntie Matriarch’s wedding.  She was not, and neither was I.  The wedding took place in June, 2 months after the luncheon, and the reception was held in the same restaurant where the luncheon was.  No one mentioned the wedding at the luncheon.

Not one person mentioned that my Aunt was getting married in 2 months, at the same place we were in.  My father’s family is good at keeping secrets.

Being excluded from the wedding, when everyone else in the family was invited hurt me terribly.  It was my first taste of rejection, and I was going to get a full helping later on.

Five years later, and out of the 20 assorted aunts, uncles and cousins that I met from my father’s family, not one is in contact with me, including my father.

I speak to 2 cousins on my mother’s side, and my Dear Auntie.

And that’s it.

Not what i expected, at all.






2 thoughts on “Five years in”

  1. I’m so sorry that it’s turned out this way. It’s hard when family members suck at being family members. It sucks even more when you’ve had all this time to have to wonder what they might be like.

  2. Thank you. I see them as my family, but they do not feel the same. I can’t watch those reunion shows on TV, because they only show the beginning.

    The beginning can be good, but what happens after can be VERY bad.

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